1. Avoid Times Square like the plague because, frankly, it’s hell on earth (unless you have friends or family in town that want to take you to see The Book of Mormon).
2. You know Shake Shack, better than In-N-Out.
3. You have a personal relationship with the cast of Friends, Seinfeld, Girls and Broad City.
4. You probably have no idea what the inside of the Empire State Building, Rockefeller Center or Liberty Island look like.
5. You refuse to admit ever enjoying a bagel in any city other than New York.
6. You refer to anywhere north of Westchester as ‘upstate’.
7. You fold your pizza. If it’s not foldable, it’s not pizza.
8. You know exactly which museums are free and when (MoMA on Fridays 4pm – 8pm, The Bronx Zoo on Wednesdays, The Met Museum is always free).
9. You’ve been to at least five different pizza places with ‘Ray’s’ in the name, and at least three different bagel places with ‘H&H’ in the name.
10. You roll your eyes every time you hear someone’s moving to Williamsburg, Billy B or, alternatively, Willy B. Unless, of course, you move to Williamsburg. Then, and only then, do you think it’s awesome.
11. You’ve joined a co-ed intramural soccer, softball or volleyball team solely for the purpose of going out drinking with your team after each game.
12. You know at least 10 words in Yiddish, without knowing that they’re Yiddish.
13. You know your nova from your lox and smoked salmon.
14. You know where to get all-you-can-eat sushi and all-you-can-drink beer and sake for under $40.
15. You are well aware of all ‘buy a drink, get a free dinner’ bars (Crocodile Lounge, Merrion Square, Rudy’s Bar & Grill, etc.).
16. Your three arch nemeses are the MTA, ConEd and Time Warner Cable.
17. You’ve lost your ticket to pay at Katz Deli and you weren’t allowed to leave, and it was 3am.
18. Your version of going to the beach is going to Sheep’s Meadow and laying out in a bikini.
19. You brag about the quality of NYC tap water; it’s why our bagels are so damn good.
20. You’ve cursed at or been cursed out by a cyclist.
21. You know all the lyrics to ‘Big Poppa’.