You’re calling in sick
When your kid is sick and you need to stay home to take care of them, you say you are vabbar – you’re home sick with the kids, and can’t be contacted.
On the other hand, if you’re home with sick kids but still able to answer emails, you are vobbar. This is sometimes used when you just want to work from home and are lucky enough to have children about whose state of health you can lie. Then again, you may have a big project going on, and if you’re vobbar, while your kid sleeps off the flu you can still be online.
Maybe the kids are OK but the dog, cat or goldfish is not. If that’s the case, you are voffar – at home with a sick pet who needs your tender ministrations.
You’re late, or perhaps not showing up at all
Arbetar hemifrån literally means ‘working from home’, something people increasingly do without resorting to any sick kid or sick pet excuses. And while this is sometimes abused (because who doesn’t know a remote-working colleague who never seems to produce anything?) Swedes are pretty honest; sure, they might take a fika in the middle of the day, but they’ll still get their work done.
You’re late, or maybe you can’t get into the office at all. Why? Well, there’s snökaos – snow chaos – which is a very handy excuse when you’ve overslept and notice a few flakes coming down. That said, Swedes are used to snow, so if it’s just a dusting, you’ll be getting a lot of passive aggressive sighs the next time you show up at work.
Stopp i trafiken
Sweden has excellent public transportation, with trains and buses running like clockwork, and car traffic is heavy but not unmanageable. Sometimes, though, there are problems, and that means you can message your boss and say stopp i trafiken — traffic has stopped – but be warned that any problem with traffic will mean everyone in the surrounding area will be messaging one another, so it’s not easy to get away with fudging this one.
Meetings and work
Swedes love to go on courses and conferences for work, either to update their skills, use up money in the budget or simply have an excuse for plenty of after-work drinks. Either way, if you’re away on a course you say processhantering, which literally means ‘process management’ but really means you’re off improving your skills.
Många bollar i luften
You’re juggling a lot of things and that means you’ve got många bollar i luften – a lot of balls in the air. This one can be applied to many areas of life, of course, and if you’re a parent, you could possibly combine it with vobber or vabber and really take some serious time off from work.
This means you’re so stressed you’ve hit the wall and can’t possibly go on. If this happens to you in Sweden, you see your doctor and get sjukskriven – a doctor’s note to your employer saying you can’t work – and then you probably see a counsellor, do some physical therapy or, if you can really swing it, convince your boss to give you a different job in the organisation. The good news is that while you’re written off work, you still get paid 80% of your salary.