Brilliantly Bonkers British Beer Adverts From The 1980s

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Food & Drink Editor

News out recently that Hofmiester – the bland, fizzy, weak-as-tea lager from the 1980s – is to be re-launched as a ‘craft beer’ sees The Culture Trip’s food and drink editor come over all nostalgic for the crazy world of 1980s British beer commercials. Prior to the 1980s men, and pretty much only men, drank bitter. Then came an invasion of foreign lagers from all corners of the globe aimed squarely at the younger drinker. Your dad and grandad drank bitter, you and your mates drank lager. If you had your first beer in 80s Britain, chances are it was one of these. Did you know – Culture Trip now does bookable, small-group trips? Pick from authentic, immersive Epic Trips, compact and action-packed Mini Trips and sparkling, expansive Sailing Trips.

Lamot

He-man and Battlecat nip out for a pint, narrated by Alien’s John Hurt, it ends with the line “Taste beyond time, smoothness beyond dreams” – the perfect post Dungeons & Dragons beer.

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GORGEOUS GUATEMALA

Gorgeous Guatemala

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BEACHY BELIZE

Beachy Belize

5 days . Mini
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A quick trip not too far away for those seeking a relaxing mini break. You will have plenty of free time to relax but also some awesome activities to experience the rainforest and the caribbean sea.
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COLONIAL MEXICO

Colonial Mexico

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An exciting mini trip exploring the lesser known colonial towns of central Mexico. This is hte perfect trip for someone with limited time off and still wants to turn on explorer mode and do something different.
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ADVENTUROUS ECUADOR

Adventurous Ecuador

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ANCIENT PERU

Ancient Peru

9 days . Epic
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An alternative itinerary to classic Peru, from Cusco to Arequipa. This itinerary is great combination of highlights Cusco and Machu Picchu with the lesser known Arequipa and Colca Canyon.
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Europe

SEDUCTIVE SOUTHERN ITALY

Seductive Southern Italy

10 days . Epic
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The ultimate Italian experience from the vibrant streets of Naples to the breathtaking sceneries of the Amalfi Coast followed by Matera and down to Puglia with its golden beaches, intense flavours and fascinating destinations.

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EDINBURGH AND THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS BY TRAIN

Edinburgh And The Scottish Highlands By Train

7 days . Culture
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Embark on this great adventure starting from London all the way to Scotland with a true Scottish experience made of breathtaking sceneries, whisky tasting and ..lots of fun! Ideal for train lovers and explorers.
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COMPLETE PORTUGAL BY TRAIN

Complete Portugal By Train

8 days . Culture
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A wonderful train journey around Portugal, from the romantic city of Porto to the Douro Valley, to the beautiful Aveiro all the way to Lisbon and Sintra. The perfect trip to train, culinary and culture lovers.
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SOULFUL SOUTH KOREA

Soulful South Korea

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THAILAND, CAMBODIA & VIETNAM

Thailand, Cambodia & Vietnam

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From Bankgok to Angkor Wat to Ho Chi Minh City and everything in between - adventure through the heart of South-East Asia. Taste the delights, see history brought to life and unwind on a Mekong River cruise.
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SECRETS OF SRI LANKA BY TRAIN

Secrets Of Sri Lanka By Train

10 days . Culture
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A fantastic adventure that showcases Sri Lanka's fantastic landscapes, wildlife and flavours. With 3 epic rail journeys, 3 UNESCO heritage sites and time to relax, this trip has loads to offer at a great price
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EPIC MOROCCO

Epic Morocco

11 days . Epic
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An epic journey across Morocco: from Casablanca to Marrakech, through the blue city of Chefchaouen to the wonders of the desert and deep to the High Atlas Mountains - this trip has it all! Ideal for true explorers!

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ULTIMATE EGYPT

Ultimate Egypt

9 days . Epic
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From Cairo to Aswan, this trip brings the land of the pharaohs to life. You'll visit the Pyramids, Valley of the Kings and Luxor Temple and cruise down the Nile in style. This is the perfect way to explore Egypt.
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IMMERSIVE KENYA

Immersive Kenya

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Hofmeister

A man dressed as a dancing bear was all it took advertise beer in the 80s. Nowadays that’s barely acceptable for a five year old’s birthday party, and it remains to be seen if the new Hofmiester will ‘follow the bear’.

Carlsberg Special Brew

Drunk by that mad mate of your older brother who’s now doing a stretch at Her Majesty’s Pleasure, ‘Brew was, and still is, lethal. Despite this, Waitrose sells it and even offers ’tasting notes’.

Holstein Pils

Drunk by middle class young men who wanted to try and look cool, still available, just. And to think that Holsein Pils once commanded over 50% of the bottled beer market in the late 1980s.

Fosters

Part of the Aussie invasion along with Neighbours, Home And Away, and Dame Edna and pitched to look laid back and cool compared to us up tight Brits.

Castlemaine XXXX

Men, buying loads of beer, drinking beer and driving – all perfectly acceptable in the 1980s. Now, not so much.

Skol

Advertised by a cartoon Viking and his wife, amazingly still available at an underwhelming 2.8% abv.

Harp

Parody of the famous Nescafe adverts that ran throughout the first quarter of our lives. A popular choice for the underage drinker.

McEwans

Lager meets Lionel Richie’s Hello video in this quite frankly surreal advert featuring two clay heads for McEwans. Possibly the work of a stoned art student.

Kaliber

A non-alcoholic beer, no one knew anyone who drank it, despite a massive ad campaign featuring National Treasure Billy Connolly.
The irony of all these beers is that thought they often ‘originated’ from countries such as Australia, Denmark and Germany, they were nearly all brewed under licence in the UK. What we were essentially buying wasn’t so much beer as a recipe and advertising. In the glass, many them looked and tasted very similar (apart from ‘Brew, that’s still evil stuff).

But back to Hofmeister, I asked beer bloggers Boak and Bailey for their opinion on the return of the beer. “This is part of a particular kind of brand revival which has nothing to do with the original beer — it’s being brewed in Germany to a completely new recipe. As with the recent revival of the Watney’s and Whitbread brands, the idea seems to be to tap into some lingering recognition among drinkers who are too young to have ever tasted the originals, but who perhaps vaguely recall seeing the ads on ITV during episodes of Minder.”

But perhaps without these dreadful generic industrial lagers of the 80s and the adverts that promoted them, there wouldn’t have been something for the craft beer movement to rebel against. So here’s to you crappy beer!

What was your first beer? Tell us in the comments below.

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