Everybody may think that being a couple is all about romance, long-stemmed roses and candle-lit dinners. So here are some tips on romance from a more jaded point of view.
Let out some gas and see how much they love you…
Because wearing your heart on your sleeve is just so 1994.
…And laugh at all the people stuck in traffic (suckers!).
…Because life is boring unless you know how to throw ‘shade’!
But more importantly, someone else’s food always tastes better.
Because walking like other chickens is just so mainstream.
Remember, stripes are slimming.
You will be amazed how much face paint and glitter can make your day.
For body warmth.
And then cop a feel while they’re not looking.