15 Jokes Only Ancient Greeks Could Tell
Laughter is universal and the healing power of a good chuckle has been recognized since antiquity. Proof of this is the Philogelos – translated as ‘the joker’ or ‘the one who loves laughter’ – considered the world’s oldest surviving collection of jokes written in ancient Greek and compiled by Hierocles and Philagrius around the 4th or 5th century AD. Now translated by William Berg, a retired American classics professor, the collection includes jests relevant to today and, on occasion, highlights the stupidity of the so-called scholars of the time. Perhaps unsurprisingly, we all still laugh at the same jokes – despite the millenia that have passed. Discover for yourself with this list of 15 jokes from the collection.
1. A student dunce wants to teach his ass not to eat too much, so he withholds food from it. When the ass dies of starvation, he grumbles ‘Just my luck! The moment he really learns not to eat, he ups and dies!
2. A student dunce buys a house, then peeks out of the window and asks passersby if the house suits him.
3. A man goes to a student dunce and says, ‘The slave you sold me died.’ ‘By the gods’, counters the dunce, ‘when he was with me, he never did any such thing’
4. A drunk acquires a vineyard through an inheritance. But the poor guy dies exactly at harvest time.
5. A hothead trips and falls down the stairs. When the landlord calls out, ‘Who fell down out there?’ the hothead answers ‘I did. In my rent payment. What’s it to you?’
6. A fellow says to a butcher from Sydon, ‘Lend me a knife as far as Smyrna.’ ‘I don’t have a knife that reaches that far,’ answers the butcher.
7. When the garrulous barber asks him, ‘How should I cut your hair?’, a quick wit answers ‘Silently’.
8. A Kymean* is selling a house. He carries around one of its building blocks to show what it’s like.
9. Shopping for windows, a Kymean* asks if there are any that look South.
10. An Abderite* is dreaming that he is selling a pig and he is asking 100 denarii for it. Someone is offering 50 but he won’t take it. At that point, he wakes up. Then keeping his eyes shut, he holds out his hands and says ‘Oh well, OK, give me the 50’.
11. A guy goes to the cloth-fuller’s shop to sell his urine. When he can’t piss like the others, he dies of envy.
12. A miser writes his will and names himself as his heir.
13. A husband with bad breath asks his wife, ‘My dear why do you hate?’ She gives him an answer: ‘Because you kiss me.’
14. A cook with halitosis is frying a sausage. But he breathes on it so much that he transforms it into a turd.
15. A wife-hater is attending the burial of his wife, who has just died. When someone asks ‘Who is it that rests in peace here?’ he answers ‘Me, now that I am rid of her!’
*The citizens of Abdera, Sidon, and Kyme in the eastern Mediterranean area, were the main target of ethnic jokes and often considered as stupid or crazy.
Volcanic Iceland Epic Trip
meet our Local Insider
Hanna
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A GUIDE?
2 years.
WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR JOB?
It's the personal contact, the personal experiences. I love meeting people from all over the world... I really like getting to know everyone and feeling like I'm traveling with a group of friends.
WHAT DESTINATION IS ON YOUR TRAVEL BUCKET-LIST?
I have so many places on my list, but I would really lobe to go to Africa. I consider myself an “adventure girl” and Africa feels like the ULTIMATE adventure!
Every CULTURE TRIP Small-group adventure is led by a Local Insider just like Hanna.
KEEN TO EXPLORE THE WORLD?
Connect with like-minded people on our premium trips curated by local insiders and with care for the world
Since you are here, we would like to share our vision for the future of travel - and the direction Culture Trip is moving in.
Culture Trip launched in 2011 with a simple yet passionate mission: to inspire people to go beyond their boundaries and experience what makes a place, its people and its culture special and meaningful — and this is still in our DNA today. We are proud that, for more than a decade, millions like you have trusted our award-winning recommendations by people who deeply understand what makes certain places and communities so special.
Increasingly we believe the world needs more meaningful, real-life connections between curious travellers keen to explore the world in a more responsible way. That is why we have intensively curated a collection of premium small-group trips as an invitation to meet and connect with new, like-minded people for once-in-a-lifetime experiences in three categories: Culture Trips, Rail Trips and Private Trips. Our Trips are suitable for both solo travelers, couples and friends who want to explore the world together.
Culture Trips are deeply immersive 5 to 16 days itineraries, that combine authentic local experiences, exciting activities and 4-5* accommodation to look forward to at the end of each day. Our Rail Trips are our most planet-friendly itineraries that invite you to take the scenic route, relax whilst getting under the skin of a destination. Our Private Trips are fully tailored itineraries, curated by our Travel Experts specifically for you, your friends or your family.
We know that many of you worry about the environmental impact of travel and are looking for ways of expanding horizons in ways that do minimal harm - and may even bring benefits. We are committed to go as far as possible in curating our trips with care for the planet. That is why all of our trips are flightless in destination, fully carbon offset - and we have ambitious plans to be net zero in the very near future.