Bahamas Music Festival Issues Statement Warning Fans Not To Have Sex With Pizza

A music festival on a cruise boat has been forced to issue a statement reminding fans not to have sex with pizza.

Yes, it turns out some people actually need reminding that pizza is put in your mouth and not on your genitalia.

Holy Ship! is an EDM festival that is currently en route to the Bahamas with A-Trak, Baauer and Alison Wonderland as part of its line-up.

Sounds like fun, right? Well, if this photo is to be believed, some patrons might be having a bit too much fun.

https://twitter.com/killthenoise/status/950161455730577409?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fuproxx.com%2Fmusic%2Fholy-ship-pizza-sex%2F

It reads: ‘Due to incidents on previous sailings in which patrons engaged in uncouth behavior in the cafe, we feel it is our duty to remind our guests that pizza is for eating, not fornicating. Sexual acts with our handcrafted pizza can bring unintended health consequences and can pose a safety hazard for other passengers aboard our journey.’

The note, entitled ‘Open Pizza Bar for Consumption Only’, explained that these acts are ‘prohibited by maritime law’ and would not be tolerated at the festival.

It ends with some advice: ‘If you suffer from Sitophilia, or the sexual desire to fornicate with foods such as our pizzas, please inquire with one of our specialists in the medical bay below the deck.’

Yes, Sitophilia is a real condition.

The whole thing sounds very tongue-in-cheek and we wouldn’t be surprised if this was a hoax, but Holy Ship! is known for its crazy parties, so who knows?

Just last weekend, two dozen people were reportedly arrested for drug possession while boarding the cruise.

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