You’ll own more pairs of thongs than actual shoes, but understand that footwear of any kind is just overkill if you’re within spitting distance of the coast.
You’ll get used to everybody’s sarcastic sense of humour – or ‘taking the piss’.
If you want to avoid someone taking the piss out of you, you’ll learn not to brag or boast – it’s in an Australian’s nature to “cut down the tall poppy” and prefer that people “pull their head in”.
And you’ll understand that ‘taking the piss’ is very different to ‘getting on the piss’, another regular habit for Australians.
You’ll start calling all your friends ‘mate’. You’ll even start calling strangers ‘mate’.
Anyone you don’t call ‘mate’, you’ll give an o-based nickname – David becomes Davo, Jonathan becomes Jono, Simon becomes Simo, and so on.
You’ll start nicknaming everything else too – a cup of tea becomes a cuppa, a biscuit becomes a bikkie, a barbecue becomes a barbie, and afternoon becomes an arvo.
You’ll start asking questions and without ever expecting a reply, like “How good is this beer?”
You’ll love the taste of fried egg and beetroot on your burger, and you won’t even flinch if you find out the patty’s made from the national animal, our old friend Skippy the Kangaroo.
You’ll start taking a bottle of wine with you when headed out for a casual dinner – BYO stands for Bring Your Own and it’s a much more affordable way to drink while out.
When you head to a friend’s place for dinner, you’ll understand that ‘bring a plate’ means you should bring some food to share, not bring a piece of crockery.
Daily spider sightings and the occasional snake will no longer scare the life out of you, which is terrifying in itself. Thankfully, the creepy crawly sightings are offset by encounters with cuter critters, like green tree frogs and brushtail possums.
If you catch taxis, you’ll start sitting up front with the driver, and if you catch public transport, you’ll start thanking the bus driver.
Strange place names like Wollongong, Woolloongabba, Indooroopilly, Mooloolaba and Mudgeeraba will just roll off your tongue naturally.
If you travel to beaches around the country, you’ll never know what to call swimwear again. Are they togs, bathers, cossies or swimmers? Whatever you start calling them, if you want to fit in, just avoid wearing “budgie smugglers”. They’re for little kids and old blokes only.