Our favorite NYC bartenders have already shared their advice on how to pick up someone at a bar. But did you know that, if they like you, they might play wingman to assist? Here are some of the subtle things they sometimes do to play cupid… and how you can ensure they’ll be willing to help you.
A bartender’s job is literally to throw a party every single night. And like any good party host, great bartenders delight in making connections between their guests, spearheading introductions and drawing strangers into conversations. And if you get on their good side, they might be inclined to play cupid between you and the hottie a few barstools away.
We’ve told you how to use the bartender as an intermediary by sending a drink through them. But there are all sorts of subtle moves they’ll do as well, from instigating conversations they know might interest two people who should meet, to shuffling the seating arrangements at the bar to put two potentially compatible people together. As it turns out, bartenders actually love to play matchmaker.

It’s essentially part of a bartender’s job to talk with their guests and get to know them. “For the most part, you will talk to everybody if you’re a good bartender,” says Zak Snyder, beverage director at Sons and Daughters of New York. And it’s less a requirement than a job perk, according to the bartenders we spoke with. “I like talking to people, and I like engaging people, and I like engaging my guests and getting my guests to know each other,” says Mellie Wiersma, a bartender at The Happiest Hour.
“Know your bartender. We can be your best resource,” advises Rafa Garcia Febles, a bartender at Covina and The Roof at Park South. “If we’re good at our job, we’re good at reading people and talking to people, and making sure people leave happy and want to come back. If you have a good vibe, if you seem a like a normal, well-meaning person and not a creep or worse, we probably want to help. And we definitely know people we can introduce you to.”
That’s not something they’ll just offer to do, and certainly not for just anyone. “We’re never going to just lean across the bar and go, ‘So are you looking to meet girls tonight? Is that why you’re here?’” says Matt Friedlander, the general manager at Sweetwater Social. “That’s just really sketchy and weird. But if you and I have become friendly and chatted the last few times you’ve been in, and I know you’ve been single for a while or maybe you’re getting over someone and you’re looking for someone to talk to, and I happen to think, ‘Oh, there’s actually someone I know at the end of the bar who I think you’d really enjoy talking to,’ that’s the way I do it. And the way you get there is simply by being a regular, being respectful, and knowing when to behave yourself appropriately.”
So how can they help?

Your Best Wingman Might Be Your Bartender

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