If you were born and raised in the Sunshine State, it’s probably obvious to everyone you meet. Maybe you drink too much Gatorade or you have a Miami accent, or there’s just something quirky about you that sets you apart from the rest—but you know what? Being Floridian just means you’ve been blessed with a little more sunshine than the rest. Cheers to you.
Whether it’s to the mall, in the bar or at the beach, flips flops are like your second pair of feet.
Floridians see alligators crossing the road, sunbathing along the canal, and every once in a while after a hurricane they show up in the backyard pool.
Florida is unlivable without a/c. Swarmed with swamps and hot beaches, every time a local steps into an enclosed space cooled with a/c it’s a glorious moment.
From grizzly cannibal attacks to a tiger running wild through a zoo, Floridaians have become desensitized to the news. The weirder the headlines, the more normal it is.
Let’s face it, everyone lives a pretty monotonous life. A hurricane announcement is a little variation to the daily routine—and it means a day off from work! (Unless you’ve been a victim to a hurricane’s devastation in which case pretend you never read this.)
Even if you don’t speak Spanish, you can at least catch the concept of several Spanglish phrases like “cojelo con take it easy.”
The sun shines so bright here you get a tan on your hands when you’re driving to work.
Ask any woman with a straightening iron how happy she is when the weather drops.
Pull out the stockings, the boots, and the coat. Its 69 degrees and it might as well be snowing.
The happiest place on Earth is in Orlando, and your parents took you since you were one year old. You practically have Mickey on speed dial.
To Disney World, to Tampa, to Miami and beyond, the Florida Turnpike is your expressway of choice.
Did we say think? We meant know. Publix’s subs stuffed with fried chicken are a delicacy.