You wear flip flops everywhere you go
Whether it’s to the mall, in the bar or at the beach, flips flops are like your second pair of feet.
Alligators are no big deal
Floridians see alligators crossing the road, sunbathing along the canal, and every once in a while after a hurricane they show up in the backyard pool.
A/C is the best invention of all time
Florida is unlivable without a/c. Swarmed with swamps and hot beaches, every time a local steps into an enclosed space cooled with a/c it’s a glorious moment.
The local news doesn’t phase you
From grizzly cannibal attacks to a tiger running wild through a zoo, Floridaians have become desensitized to the news. The weirder the headlines, the more normal it is.
Hurricanes secretly excite you
Let’s face it, everyone lives a pretty monotonous life. A hurricane announcement is a little variation to the daily routine—and it means a day off from work! (Unless you’ve been a victim to a hurricane’s devastation in which case pretend you never read this.)
You speak Spanglish (at least un poquito)
Even if you don’t speak Spanish, you can at least catch the concept of several Spanglish phrases like “cojelo con take it easy.”
Sunscreen is your best friend
The sun shines so bright here you get a tan on your hands when you’re driving to work.
You look forward to cooler weather because it calms your frizzy hair
Ask any woman with a straightening iron how happy she is when the weather drops.
But you still freeze when temperatures drop below 72 degrees
Pull out the stockings, the boots, and the coat. Its 69 degrees and it might as well be snowing.
You have been to Disney World at least 15 times
The happiest place on Earth is in Orlando, and your parents took you since you were one year old. You practically have Mickey on speed dial.
You’ve driven the Florida Turnpike
To Disney World, to Tampa, to Miami and beyond, the Florida Turnpike is your expressway of choice.
You think Publix makes the best subs
Did we say think? We meant know. Publix’s subs stuffed with fried chicken are a delicacy.