11 Funny Conversations Overheard in Neukölln Cafés

The creativity and diversity of Berlin make it unlike any other city | © Nicolas Colemonts/Flickr
The creativity and diversity of Berlin make it unlike any other city | © Nicolas Colemonts/Flickr
Photo of Megan King
11 March 2017

Berlin is a tapestry of multicultural influences and multifaceted possibilities that weave together the special character of the city. Nowhere else can so many different languages be heard while walking down the street than in Berlin. Sometimes you even walk into a café and the person behind the counter speaks better English than German. People from all over the world are drawn to Berlin, a city that welcomes them with open arms.

Neukölln has become the intersection of Berlin’s cultural diversity, and you’ll be able to experience it between having a coffee in one of its cute cafés or simply walking to the subway. Here are the sometimes funny, sometimes kooky, but always smile-bringing snippets of conversation overheard in the neighborhood.

A typical scene in Neukölln | © rodrigo leza/Flickr

On Free Your Stuff Berlin

Free Your Stuff Berlin is a revolutionary concept. You can furnish your whole apartment for free from the group. You can get almost anything you need – a second hand dildo, whatever.”

On diversity

“You get to meet someone from Turkey, from New Zealand, from South Africa, from Spain, all in one moment. That’s why I love it here. Berlin is not Germany; it’s its own country.”

'Everything is hipster or what?' | © Katja Linders/Flickr

On partying

“I haven’t taken anything (drugs) for so long, so last night I changed that.”

On not partying (anymore)

“Now that I’ve stopped going out so much I can finally work on my song.”

Party on! | © SPNR/Flickr

On life goals

“It’s a great city to do nothing in.”

A great city to just chill | © Hanna/Flickr

On multi-tasking

“I haven’t slept man, ’cause all these kids just want to go out and take drugs man… Hey man, look at my new meditation pillow – just feel that; it’s got buckwheat in it.”

On String Theory

Young man in all-white suit: “What do you do here?”

Australian girl: “Me? I just live! (Giggles) And you, what do you do?”

Young man in all-white suit: “I’m an artist.”

Australian girl: “Oh, what kind of artist?”

Young man in all-white suit: “Well, I use a lot of mixed media, but at the moment I’m working on painting String Theory.”

Australian girl:That’s cool. What’s String Theory?”

Young man in all-white suit: “It’s physics; it’s the multi-dimensional universe – and I’m trying to paint it.”

How to paint String Theory | © trailfan/Flickr

On that young man’s all-white suit

Waiter: “Wow, you look amazing!”

Young man in all-white suit: “Thank you, I had such a groovy night last night that I wanted carry that mood all the way into the day. But you’ve really got to be careful not to look like some kind of crazy white supremacist.”

On gender mixups

Girl: “Which do you think is more insulting: a man being mistaken for a woman or a woman being mistaken for a man?”

Boy: “Definitely more offensive for the man – men are afraid of women!”

A gender-bending collage in the streets of Berlin | © carnagenyc/Flickr

On body hair

“It’s very important for the extreme feminist woman to have a beard.”

Bearded lady | © drpavloff/Flickr

On more body hair

“I know girls who have hairy nipples, just because it happens.”

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