The message here is clear: we, like the girl in the Oasis song, are electric. Sadly, their performance in the domestic Top 14 league was anything but electrifying this year: they finished 12th, narrowly avoiding relegation.
This all-pink away strip was a return to basics for the Parisian home team, though there are hints of previous ventures into the fashion unknown: palm trees, Romanesque busts and what appears to be the Statue of Liberty hiding behind the SFR logo.
Despite the home jersey’s intimation that Stade Français had become roadkill on an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the team ended up league champions last year. (And we’ve all had fair warning now of what the Eiffel Tower will look like when it shapeshifts into a sea monster.)
This looks like a classic example of dressing not how you feel but how you want to feel: throw on some white shorts and a flowery shirt and suddenly you’re not facing down 15 angry man-beasts on a muddy field in subzero temperatures but on a beach, sipping Mai Tais, and gazing out at the sunset.
This one is decidedly less intimidating. In fact, it looks more like a Hannah Montana concert T-shirt than sportswear.
These Andy Warhol-inspired jerseys sparked all kinds of debate when they were first unveiled. Was this the worst sports kit ever? Who is this crowned lady? And who did she kill to get that teardrop tattoo? The answer to the second question at least is certain: she is Blanche de Castille, wife of Louis VIII and mother of Louis IX.
These lilies were pretty controversial in their day but they sure seem understated having seen what came after. The twelve stars represent as many league wins and the number now stands at 14.
Pure pink perfection, courtesy of Kenzo. If Parisians are going to make a statement, don’t expect them to do it any other way than loud and proud.