A friend has invited you as plus one to another friend’s party in Goregaon and your first question is ‘Where is that?!’ A South Mumbaikar hardly ever knows about places beyond their southern territory.
When a friend from the ‘burbs’ makes a pyjama party plan, the first thing you do is start looking for someone who can give you a ride to and from the friend’s place, because it seems as far as Timbuktoo!
Oh, it must be killing the South Mumbaikars that the Mumbai airport is in Santacruz and not in their part of the town. Once in a while, ever so reluctantly, South Mumbaikars have to descend to the ‘other side of town’ to take a flight.
Ask any South Mumbaikar and they are all still shocked and upset about Forever 21 or H&M opening in suburban malls! Although, they really want to visit these shops, reaching them would mean days of planning ahead.
You can be called a South Mumbaikar if you haven’t heard of Aksa beach of Gorai in Borivali and go nuts over how beautiful Girgaon Chowpatty is, and how watching the ‘Queen’s Necklace’ at Marine Drive can’t be compared to anything else.
When Vashi or Navi Mumbai comes up in a conversation (those rare occurrences) you dismiss it, saying it is not a part of Mumbai anyway. Just because it contains the word ‘Mumbai’, it doesn’t mean it’s actually a part of the city!
Home will never be South Mumbai to you. It was and will forever remain Bombay, the name British gave the city after they moved in the 17th-century. The city’s name officially changed to Mumbai only in 1995.
If you make dinner plans with your friends you obviously choose Li Bai, Exo or Café Zoe because who will take the trouble of going all the way to far, far away land just to have food, right? So, either it’s your way or you basically stay home and Netflix.
If you are a South-towner you will feel weird taking the local train because it is only once in, maybe, two years that you decide to hop onto that scary thing where people barely have any room to stand. Oh, and you will ask and make sure a thousand times when your destination is about to arrive.
You are a true South Mumbaikar if you have completely forgotten what riding in auto-rickshaws feel like. Auto-rickshaws only work in the suburban parts of Mumbai and beyond Bandra only taxis run the show. So, South Mumbaikars never see auto-rickshaws in their normal daily life.